Gramma's Eulogy

Eulogy for Marjorie Frampton Dobbs Eve 

written by Shawn Eve December 21, 2010

Ashley Montague once said: “The idea is to die young, as late in life as possible.” It is fitting that the “Young Hearts” are here to sing at Gerie’s funeral. Gerie was young at heart. I think that was the thing that we all loved about her the most. She had a very difficult life and yet she was able to rise above her challenges and be upbeat and positive. She also listened with that young heart of hers, she was blessed with understanding and was unconditional-rare gifts that we came to take for granted. She never judged you, she just encouraged. It didn’t matter what wild scheme you came up with, she was always there to say, “If anyone can do it darling, you can!” And she meant it!

Marjorie Frampton Dobbs Eve was born on March 17, 1932 in Atlanta Georgia. She spent her early years in an apartment on 5^th Avenue in New York City, where she thought for many years that the annual St. Patrick’s Day parade was in honor of her birthday!

Through the years, we have all had so many fun St. Patrick’s Day celebrations with her, that for us, St. Patrick’s Day really will always be in honor of her birthday. She loved nothing better than sitting around a table with her family, hearing the boys tell their stories. It didn’t matter that we had heard them all a dozen times before, we laughed until we cried. One year John made newspaper hats for us to wear! (It was sometimes hard to actually EAT when those boys got going!)

Gerie graduated from high school at the Masters School in Dobbs Ferry New York. This was a boarding school for girls and while she was there she became active in student government and (this will surprise some of you) Sports! She played Lacrosse, Basketball, Field Hockey, and Baseball. That said, she did confess to me that she never really enjoyed sports…and in fact, she admitted to being “rather klutzy” at them.

She also served on the student council and was President of her Junior class. She attended Drew University in New Jersy and then attended Grace Downs Air Career School, graduated with her “wings” and was a flight attendant for a short time. Oddly enough, she said she was terrified to fly because in her words “planes in those days were held together with paper clips and chewing gum!”

She was 23, and living in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida where she met her husband, Bob Eve, who was on leave from the Air Force, visiting family. They only went on two dates, but when Bob returned to Indiana he called and proposed over the phone. She agreed to elope with him and prepared to fly to Indiana without telling her Father. He found out at the last minute when she was on her way to the airport and called the police to have the plane held, which they did (!) but as it turns out, they held the wrong plane! She joked that she was married and disinherited all on the same day – September 1, 1953. Bob was then sent to England and Gerie joined him soon after, traveling over in style on the Queen Mary. Their first child, John was born while they were there.

When they came home from England, they lived for a short time in Indiana, where their second son, Mark, was born. They moved again, this time to Wilmore, Kentucky so that Bob could attend theological school at Asbury College. Their third son, Paul joined the family while they lived there. After Bob graduated, his first parish assignment was back in Indiana. They had no money and with three little boys, just putting food on the table was a struggle. Bob preached and Gerie taught piano lessons and sang in the choir (when she wasn’t directing it!) and somehow they managed to squeak by. But, to hear the boys tell it, life was just one grand adventure after another. Margie and I each had two boys, two and a half years apart and wondered many days how we would ever survive…Gerie had three boys in a little over three years! Whenever I would commiserate with her about my struggles with Dolph, who was a very naughty toddler, she would comfort me with stories of Paul as a child…not nearly enough time here to go there, But I do seem to remember hearing that he once put 36 frogs in their bathtub and left them there for Gerie to “discover”! He heard the scream, but said she didn’t even get mad at him, just brought him into the bathroom, handed him the bucket and explained that frogs live outside!

Another time the boys were having a colossal pillow fight, jumping on the beds…feathers were everywhere! Gerie came storming into their room with her hands on her hips, stood there for a minute and then burst out laughing! Gerie was an animal lover extraordinaire and was always saving some furry or feathered little soul. Through the years, she and Judy have had several dogs including their current little Westie that she and Gerie rescued.

There was an old outhouse behind one of the parish’s where they lived and one day the boys found a little chick in there. Of course, Gerie took it in and card for it and it quickly became a beloved pet. She named it Casey and it soon grew to be a full –blown rooster! I am told that he would sit on her lap for hours while she petted him. Once he went missing for three days until Gerie happened to open a dresser drawer and out popped that rooster, hungry, but no worse for the wear…Paul again!

After spending three years in several tiny parishes, Bob went back to school to get his Masters of Divinity degree, They moved to Evansville Indiana and it was here that Gerie’s inner actress was born! She had a beautiful contralto voice and ended up singing the lead and being the only white person in an “all-black” theatre production there!

In 1965 Bob left the ministry and they moved to Louisville, where he went to work for Sears. Several years later, Gerie began volunteering at a State reception center. She met Judy there and a year later, Judy helped her get a job at the Jewell Manor, a day treatment program for troubled girls. But backing up-before she knew Judy very well, they bumped into each other in Indiana, over at the Little Clarksville Theatre. Judy was working props and Gerie was acting again. It was there that they met Cy Weber and all became lifelong friends. Over the years, Gerie played many roles and several leads in those theatres productions.

When her marriage ended, she moved into her own place, was working nights and arranged for Judy to stay those nights with the boys, who were 10, 12,and 13 at the time. It worked out so well that eventually, Judy moved in to stay. Life really changed for all of them after that! Judy once sold a bed of hers and took them all on their first ever vacation. They drove to St. Augustine, Florida where the boys met their grandfather, Gerie’s Dad, for the first time in their lives. Judy signed the boys up for all kinds of sports and she and Gerie became their biggest fans. Makr remembers one occasion, when he was down on the football field during and exciting play, he distinctly heard his Mother screaming at the top of her lungs “Kill ‘em honey, kill ‘em!” (Not bad for someone who once said they didn’t care very much for sports!)

While working at Jewell Manor, Gerie met Ann Adamek who became and has remained one of her closest friends. Through work, she also met another wonderful woman named Joan Bybee. Joan was a Mormon and as they got to know each other, Gerie became very interested in the church. When she met the missionaries for the first time she said she thought it was so strange that they all had the first name: “elder!” One of those “Elders” Ron Jibson, lives in Utah now and called us the other day to offer his condolences. Gerie and Paul joined the church on May 11, 1975. Joh and Judy soon followed and then Mark a year later. The Bybees became great lifetime friends-in fact, Joan flew from Washington DC with Pete and Laura to be here today.

Gerie graduated from college the year she turned 50 and then went on to earn a Masters degree, setting that bar high for the rest of us! All of her sons served missions as have three of her grandsons with a fourth to follow soon. She was the proud Mother of three and grandmother of six and just this year, with the birth of little Savannah, became a great-grandmother.

She was a talented writer and a gifted artist. She wrote beautiful poetry and had some of her paintings publicly displayed for a time at the Midcity Mall.

She was a philosophical and down to earth, willing to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. We admired the great faith and determination she had to persevere as she met those challenges that come with growing older. Still, we worried about her and we worried about Judy as more and more the role of caregiver fell to her. She took care of Gerie with love and devotion. They were dear friends and companions for 43 years. Now Judy finds herself on a new road, but we want you to know that you do not walk that road alone. You will always be part of our family and we will always love you. In these last few years Gerie faced cancer, a hip replacement and most recently, a stroke. Many times she struggled through re-hab to regain her health and strength, but we knew she was getting tired.

I remember when she was going through therapy for breast cancer and decided that she had had enough radiation and opted out of the rest of the treatments. When she told the Doctors she was done, he said “You know, you’re taking a chance” and she said “Well, so are you every time you cross the street!” I loved her for that…we all said “Go Gramma!”

She was the dearest friend, we laughed, we cried – she was always that safe soft place for her family to land.

We love and honor her today. How we will miss her! But we rejoice in the gift of her life, which brought so much joy and happiness to those around her. We are grateful for her example, which we will never forget. And so we say again today, “Go Gramma, fly to that place of joy and peace – that place without pain and wait for us there until we can be with you again.”

“Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. Her children arise up and call her blessed. Many daughters have done wirtuously, but though excellest them all. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow thee all the days of they life and thou shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.